Ahh, Good TImes
by DawnsJediWind
Summary: A pointless, one shot about pregnant Astrid who gives birth.


_Ahh, Good Times_

_(HTTYD fanfic) _

Hiccup froze at the unwelcome, yet totally familiar sight.

Not again. It was Snoggletog already?

You're joking, right?

Wrong.

Hiccup stifled the groan that desperately wanted to escape, and forced his face to shut out any emotion other than a simple (though hard to exceed) blank look before Astrid. Purposely avoiding the clearly barbarically smelly drink of Yaknog, he let his eyes drift down the huge mound of his wife's stomach. She was nearly nine mouths pregnant, and showing nicely, he deemed. Not that it made much difference with her continual violet mood swings and short patience, let alone on the fact that she still insisted on making that hurried holiday drink.

"As-Astrid," Hiccup forced himself to look up and meet her narrow glare, "Hi, how're you doing?"

"Fine," she thrust out a mug of the vial drink to Hiccup. He grudgingly accepted it, and couldn't help but looked down into its disgusting depths.

"Y-you're sure?" Hiccup asked, trying to think up a polite way of disposing himself of the drink, other than bodily, _without _Astrid knowing, or else they will be hell to pay.

Tried of gravity weighting down her bulging belly and hurting her feet, Astrid sat down on the nearby stool, and let out a sigh of relief and annoyance. "I'm fine, Hiccup, really."

Putting down the mug, Hiccup smoothed away Astrid's flowing locks, and messaged her shoulders, "Okay, just checking. I don't what you to overwork yourself."

"I'm fine, the baby's fine, and you need to drink that nog before it cools."

"Er-y-yeah."

Astrid stood up and picked Hiccup's lips with a tender kiss, "Happy holidays Hiccup. Stoick's coming over for dinner," she added.

"Okay," Hiccup smiled at the thought of spending some time with his dad. It had been a long while since they'd had time together to set and talk, other than just the passing word out on the street.

As soon as Astrid left, Hiccup found the nearest bush to disposed the Yaknog. He felt a little pang of pity for the plant. He stuffed snow into the mug to clean it out, and turned back to the forge.

Another Snoggletog. More Taknog to try to get rind of and not to drink if you didn't want to speed the season with uncontrollable digestion. The one and only good thing about it was that it was one of those drinks that cleared out your system, and lately, Hiccup had noticed he hadn't been getting sick so easily.

It was rapidly growing darker and colder when Hiccup paused before the threshold of his house, and whipped his boots of snow and ice. He entered the warm, homey, apple-scented atmosphere just in time to grip Astrid into a hug and kiss as she passed him on her way to the kitchen.

"Hicc-up," Astrid groaned against his lips, and pulled away, "Hiccup, please."

He let her go. Hiccup had learned long ago to obey her every command, _if _you didn't want to thrown outside in the freezing weather wearing nothing but your pants, and having to hop, skip and jump your way through the village to your dad's for the night. Ahh, good times.

Hiccup watched, concerned, as Astrid limped to the nearest chair and sat down, clutching her stomach and trying hard not to grimace. She might be strong, but she was defiantly not that strong, and Hiccup knew her pretty well.

"Astrid, are you okay?"

Even before she thought about it, Astrid grave up the attempted to lie, and said, "I started having contractions awhile ago."

First there was the panic, then, once he got that under control, there was the fear and excitement mixed with _Okey, time enough for that later, she's in pain, and what do I do?_

Several replies popped into Hiccup's brain, each one dumber than the last until he decided to be safe and say the first one, "Er—how bad are they?"  
"Bad enough to kick your beautiful ass all the way to Asgard," growled Astrid.

"Right, dumb question," Hiccup begun to peel himself of scarves and mittens. "Do you need anything? Should I get the midwife?"

"Hell no…!" she paused, and a little growl-moan escaped her throat, "…Just—can you make dinner?"

"Dinner? Oh right, dinner, Dad—damnit! Why does he have to come—_now_?" Hiccup voiced his thoughts aloud.

"Stoick's coming, and there's nothing you can do about it, Hiccup."

Hiccup regretfully realized Astrid was probably right, as always. Since their marriage two years before, Stoick had made it clear to them he was coming for dinner whether they were making out, arguing over chores, catching their house on fire, or not.

Hiccup looked around the "clean" kitchen and wondered what to do.

But Astrid interrupted his musings with, "Hiccup, do you _even _know how to cook?"

"Um, only fish," he confessed.

Apparently before the wedding, Ruffnut, Astrid's mother, and other verse woman in the village who didn't mind teaching such a short tempered student, had given Astrid lessons in the more girly arts of housekeeping, cleaning and cooking (among other things). This didn't mean Hiccup entirely escaped burnt, tasteless, or mushy meals—the exception of which was the first three days of their married life together, when they were too busy satisfying their natural orgasms' hungry to care about eating.

"I'll make fish soup," declared Hiccup, and he promptly did so.

A thud resounded on their door, before it promptly flow open before the big, burly form of Chief Stoick.

"Howdy Hiccup, Astrid," he called jubilate out. "I brought you some wood," and he thrown the titanicly large pile down by the door.

"Hi, Dad," welcomed Hiccup as he was squeezed almost in half by his dad's hearty embrace. He was almost as tall as Stoick by now, though luckily not as wide in the garth. Hiccup had maintained his slenderness, though by now he had filled out some with muscles and thin fat. To Astrid, he was (well, _had been, _before her state prevented her from doing anything more than kiss) quite attractive, not as hairy or fatty as other Vikings.

"Hi," Astrid welcomed Stoick from where she sat by the fire.

Stoick grinned at her as he seated himself on a bench by the fire, "Hallo, hallo, what have we here? Almost time isn't it, for that kid to pop out."

"Yeah, just about," Astrid replied weakly.

Stoick, who had one time more expectance about this sort of thing than either of than, especial Hiccup, grinned wider, "I take it the kids on his way _now_?"

"Yeah, I think so," said Astrid.

"Well, then, I won't be staying long," Stoick made to stand up, but Astrid quickly reassured he, "No, no, please don't go on account of me, sir," she was abnormal polite in fount of Berk's Chief. "It's just contractions. I'll make sure to tell you if it's otherwise."

"Yes, you probably will," Stoick laughed and settled down once more.

The meal was good and hearty (Hiccup wasn't a bad cook as they go) with polity of talk and laughter. Patting his belly, Stoick rose and said, "Well, best if I be going, don't what to keep you two," he made for the door, "I'll go get the midwife on my way out, Hiccup."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Well, goodnight, and good luck, Astrid. I'll be around in the morning. Feed her plenty of mead to dull the pain, Hiccup."

Hiccup closed the door behind him, grateful he won't have to wonder out in the bitter cold that night, and turned back to Astrid. She had contented her increasing pain before Stoick, but by now was hissing as she moved on all fours towards the bedroom.

"You're going to pay for this, Hiccup," Astrid threated.

"Yeah, I'm sure I will," Hiccup helped her up and onto the bed. With Stoick's advise in mind, Hiccup gave her as much mead as she wanted without become drunk, then returned to the kitchen to clean up after dinner. Toothless was doing his part by licking clean the dishes (there are many advantages to having a dragon), so it went pretty fast. Hiccup was whipping clean his hands when a cry came from the bedroom.

"HICCUP!"

He rushed in, "Astrid?"

She grabbed his hand with an iron grasp, "Where in Thor's name is that midwife?!"

"Er, I don't know," panic waned up in Hiccup's gut. What was he suppose to do? He vaguely recalled something about hot water and herbs. Looking hastily around, Hiccup spotted an basin of cold water, and dipping his towel in it, whipped away the forming beads of sweat on Astrid's face.

She squeezed his hand, hard, "Hiccup, if you ever, EVER do this to me again, I will kill you."

Hiccup nodded, expecting the fact that she probably really would, and also regretting the fact he would never again be allowed to indulge in those actives that put them here in the first place.

Despite his panic and fear, Hiccup gathered up what little courage he had left in him, and picked down Astrid's belly to where the baby crowned. Not long now, and where in the Hell was that midwife?!

Astrid let out a scream and clung to him. Hiccup smoothed her with in encouraging words and messaged her back as she pushed.

"Damnit, it hurts!" Astrid moaned, arching her back.

"I know, I know," Hiccup recalled those days spent in unimaginable pain in his youth after the Green Dragon Battle.

Astrid screamed some more, pushed some more, and then, with one final, ear spitting scream, pushed the baby out into Hiccup's waiting hands. The baby wiggled and wormed, crying with as much volume as it's mother had shortly before.

"It's a—" Hiccup checked to make sure he'd gotten it right, "girl!" He wrapped his beautiful daughter in a warm wrapping, and settled her in her mother's arms.

"Ohh," Astrid breathed, quite forgetting or forgiving the earlier pain, "She's so beautiful."

"Like her mom," said Hiccup and he kissed Astrid happily.

They never did know what happened to that midwife, but there was one less member of Berk that year—well not really, if you count the Chief's newest family member. As for Snoggletog and Yaknog, let's just say that it was the best Snoggletog for Hiccup ever, and two days after her birth, Astrid woke up and started poisoning Berk again with that vial drink. Hiccup still hasn't had the courage to tell her the painful truth that's is the worst drink he's ever tasted, and the plants around Berk seemed to be suddenly dying under their snowy blanks recently.

Ahh, good times.


End file.
